"Times have changed."  

"Folks ain't raising kids like they used to."

"It wasn't like this when we were growing up."

All of the above statements are true, times have changed, we have more technology than we ever dreamed of.  Remember the cartoon series the Jetsons?  

We thought it was unheard of the be talking on a portable phone or having phone visits with our doctors.  But that's exactly what we're doing.

It's also true that children are being raised differently than we were.  Some of us 'old schoolers' have conversations like, "I couldn't even use the word 'lie' in our house, we had to say, "You're telling a story.  Now kids are saying things we would have gotten in trouble for saying."

All three statements are true, just ask anyone born in the 60's or 70's. 

Times were very different; our neighborhoods were different back then. Our parent's methods of discipline were different.  (Now we could sit all day and talk about that truth.)

Knowing Better

Just as all children didn't need the same type of discipline for one child as the other. 

One child might have only required a warning and he or she would straighten up.  But that 'other child' needed something more.

I've heard and been in conversations that the adult child tells the grandparents, "You would have never allowed me to get away with what you're allowing your grandchildren to get away with."

This is one of my favorites, "You've gotten soft since you became a Nana."

Soft or not, we grandparents have found this better way of dealing with our grandchildren or great-grandchildren.

As young parents, we did what we knew.

Doing Better

We're doing better now.  

How you ask?

We're now taking more time to talk to our grandchildren/great-grandchildren when they are having issues, using them as teachable moments. 

I chuckle as I'm writing this because I know my parents didn't have time for 'teachable moments'.  It was so many of us and they were concentrating on providing for us.

What am I saying?  No, we're not 'soft' we now know better and that everything does require stringent discipline measures. 

Taking the time to ask questions before disciplining helps to build character. 

Prime Example: Last week one of our Mentees was really rebellious, above the 'being a boy' stuff.

With a stern voice, we let him know that his behavior was not acceptable. We let him quiet down, he put himself in the corner. 

After a while, he worked his way over to the Mentor, and she began to ask him questions. Yes, it was almost like pulling teeth, getting him to share what was going on with him. 

Because, he didn't want to talk about it.

"So what happened today?"

"I don't want to talk about it?

"But tell me what happened.  I want to know."

"You keep asking me, but I don't want to talk about it."

"I'm asking because I care about you and you're not acting like your normal self.

Silence...

He fiddled around and finally opened up and shared that he didn't have a 'good day' at school. 

A Teachable Moment

Giving him personal attention allowing him to explain his day, let him know that there was concern for him even when he is not in the program.

They discussed ways he could have a better day and his spirit was lifted and he was then able to participate in the mentoring session without further interruption. 

Using teachable moments, showing care and concern helps to build character in our children. 

Be open to taking the opportunity to make use of your next teachable moment to build character in the life of a child.