Fairness

Fairness is one of the six Pillars of Girls and Boys of Character.

But what is fairness?

Fairness is treating people justly, not letting your personal feelings bias your decisions about others.

Fairness while mentoring is going to be questioned by your mentors.  We must always be conscious that we operate in fairness.  Having no biases or as we discussed in one of previous blogs, not paying favorites. (Even though, we are sometimes accused of playing favorites.  For me, please read the blog titled, Playing Favorites.)

We often hear, “That’s not fair.”

Fairness includes giving everyone a fair chance, and providing an equal opportunity for all, though you also realize that what is fair for one person might not be fair for another.

Because our Mentees come from different backgrounds and have different experiences it is important for us to understand that some of our dealings with them may seem to be ‘unfair’.

It can be something as small as giving one Mentee an extra cookie. When the others see this, they say, “That’s not fair, she got an extra cookie,” or ask, “Why didn’t you give me an extra cookie?”

They are unaware that the last time we had cookies, that we didn’t have enough cookies for everyone, and they received one less.

They may also not know that this Mentee was having a very challenging day and the decision to give them an extra cookie was the reason.

Mentoring requires us to get to know each Mentee personally as well as how they relate to each other in group settings.

We must know both their strengths as well as the areas they need improvement in.

We also must discern how to pair them up with others, so their gifts and talents can be exposed, strengthened and nurtured.

It is one of the most rewarding moments when you can watch them naturally operate in the things they are good at without any urging or having to give directions.

At Girls and Boys of Character we provide a safe place for our Mentees to voice their concerns, ideas and suggestions without fear of being judged, ridiculed or shamed.

By doing this very thing we exemplify the foundation of fairness that will help them to embrace fairness and display it in our community.

We’ve witnessed them take moments to think about what they are going to say before making ‘unfair’ statements.  We’ve seen them display empathy and compassion in their acts of fairness.

Even those that have not always been treated fairly themselves have begun to adopt this pillar.

Operating fairly causes us to keep an open mind.  It causes us to be patient and avoids judgmental actions.

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